Not So Little Anymore

Today I had a little bit of a shock. I knew it was coming but I didn't think I would be so sensitive about it. Paul has grown out of his first pair of jammies!

Last week I had noticed that there were a few pairs of pyjamas and onesies that were starting to get a little snug on Paul. I was proud that he was growing and when we got home from the cottage, I took a look in his closet to see if he would fit into any of the larger clothes he had. Everything was still a little too big. As I was getting him ready for bed tonight, I randomly pulled out a pair of pyjamas for him. It was the kind that has a zipper on one leg only. To my surprise, I couldn't easily get his leg into the one side without the zipper. I couldn't believe it at first, and tried zipping up the sleeper. It did zip up easily but Paul couldn't stretch out his legs, and his toes were all curled up in the feet.

I stared at him for a few seconds and then went and got another sleeper. As I dressed him again all I could think of was "My boy is growing up so fast". Now I know it's only been 7 weeks but I can't help but wonder where the time went. I like to think about the day he was born and sometimes I wonder if I'll remember every detail 5 years from now. There are two moments I know I will never forget though.
The first is what it felt like the moment he was born, when the midwife caught him. I'm thankful I wasn't numbed by the epidural because missing out on that moment would have been horrible. It's hard to explain but there was a sense of relief followed by a rush of emotion and lots of crying. The oxytocin was definitely working.
The second moment was when Paul was given to me. I know it's normal for mom's not to feel that immediate bond but that wasn't me. I saw him coming towards me and I started crying all over again. All I wanted to do was hold him and not let go. I finally had my family. And every time I think of that moment my eyes start to tear up.

There are lots of people who say that you forget how painful labour is once you are holding your child. I have to disagree a little. You'll never forget the pain but holding that little angel in your arms makes it all worth while.